The Power of Presence

There’s a phenomenon in the human nervous system called co-regulation. This means that when a distressed and dysregulated nervous system is near a regulated one, it can learn how to regulate more quickly. Practically, this looks like the moment when you’re breaking down, and your calm friend simply holds space for you. This is the power behind talk therapy. Often, it’s less about the words and more about learning to discuss distressing events while finding safety within yourself. It’s a remarkable aspect of being human: we need each other, even at the level of our nervous systems.

Similarly, in massage therapy, we bring the body’s attention to areas of pain, tension, or holding patterns. Like talk therapy—where distressing events are processed alongside a safe and regulated therapist—we teach the body how to transition into healthier states of being by staying regulated ourselves.

In massage spaces, this is often referred to as “energy.” The idea is that we carry the energy of the people, events, and places we interact with. This is how trauma can be stored, how we “take on” others’ issues, and why grounding ourselves is so essential. Co-regulation, at its core, is the same concept—just described in different terms. How we show up in our sessions matters, both energetically and on a nervous system level.

Using This Knowledge in Your Practice

Here’s how you can incorporate this understanding of co-regulation into your massage practice:

1. Give Yourself Adequate Time Between Sessions

If it’s within your control, I recommend scheduling at least 30 minutes between clients. This allows time for:

• Checking out and rescheduling your client (3–5 minutes)

• Offering them homework or follow-up care (2–5 minutes)

• Turning over your treatment room (5 minutes)

And most importantly, it ensures you can meet your own needs: using the restroom, grabbing a snack, hydrating, or taking a moment to regulate your nervous system. Deep, intentional breaths can work wonders. If possible, close your eyes for a moment, tell yourself to “let go,” stretch, or even scroll on Instagram briefly. Prioritizing your nervous system helps you show up fully for the next client.

2. Cultivate Curiosity

Stay curious about:

• What you’re feeling with your hands.

• How your body feels and where your weight is balanced.

• What is happening in your client’s body in the moment.

This level of presence isn’t always required or even possible for every client. I often focus deeply when addressing a complex issue but allow my mind to wander during more routine relaxation techniques. Finding a balance can help prevent burnout while maintaining engagement.

3. Breathe Before Entering the Room

Here’s something simple and tangible: before you knock and enter your treatment room, take three deep breaths. This extra 30 seconds may go unnoticed by your client but could make all the difference in how you show up for the session.

By staying grounded, curious, and intentional, you not only improve your practice but also create a more impactful and restorative experience for your clients.

A 20-second hug can:

Release oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” which helps reduce stress, increase feelings of connection, and lower blood pressure.

Decrease levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

Improve your mood by triggering the release of serotonin and dopamine, the “feel-good” hormones.

Some sources suggest that extending a hug to 30 seconds enhances these effects, deepening the sense of relaxation and emotional connection. Hugs are a simple yet powerful way to boost both mental and physical well-being! 😊