Why Don’t We Feel Safe in Our Bodies?

For many of us, safety isn’t just about locking our doors or finding the right people — it’s also about whether we feel safe inside ourselves.

And sadly, for a lot of people, feeling safe in their own body isn’t a given.

Let’s talk about why that is — and what we can start to do about it.

The Bigger Picture: How Systems Teach Us to Disconnect

From a young age, many of us are taught — directly and indirectly — that our bodies aren’t good enough.

Society is saturated with messages that promote fatphobia, ableism, and white supremacy.

We’re praised for shrinking ourselves. We’re told our worth is tied to how “able-bodied” we appear. We’re shown images that reflect only a tiny sliver of human experience as “ideal.”

If your body doesn’t fit into these narrow molds — if you’re larger-bodied, disabled, chronically ill, neurodivergent, aging, or simply different — the world often treats your body as a problem to be fixed.

Over time, these harmful systems convince us that our bodies are not safe places to be. They plant seeds of shame, self-criticism, and distrust — severing the natural bond between self and body.

Chronic Pain: When the Body Feels Like the Enemy

If you live with chronic pain, you know how exhausting it can be — not just physically, but emotionally.

It’s easy to start feeling like your body is betraying you, constantly holding you back from the life you want.

When you hurt day after day, it can feel almost impossible to view your body with love or even neutrality. Many people understandably start seeing their body as an enemy — something to fight, resent, or ignore.

But that feeling of betrayal is part of the disconnect. Pain isn’t a failure; it’s a communication. Your body is trying to get your attention, trying to signal that it needs care, not contempt.

Thoughts Shape Sensations: The Mind-Body Connection

One of the most fascinating (and hopeful) truths is this: what we think about our bodies literally changes how we feel.

When we hold harsh, judgmental thoughts toward ourselves — I’m broken, I’m lazy, I’m disgusting — those thoughts don’t just stay in our heads.

They ripple outward, tightening muscles, altering posture, ramping up stress hormones, and amplifying pain signals.

On the flip side, when we cultivate gentler, more compassionate thoughts — I’m doing my best. My body is doing its best. I am allowed to rest — we can actually soothe our nervous system.

We create tiny openings for healing, breath by breath.

The good news is: safety in your body can be rebuilt.

It starts not with force or judgment, but with the quiet practice of noticing, listening, and offering kindness — even when it feels hard.